imagine things

Learning to Breathe Switchfoot
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Yesterday was Maundy Thursday. I visited the most accessible and practical seven churches with my family and prayed. The day wasn’t that clear. It rained. We went to new places, new territories, and I made a big deal about it. Praying hard, reflecting over things, seeking forgiveness I’ve long forgotten. Since none of us had slept much the night before, we were tired and sluggish the time we headed home. I kind of suck driving (hehe), but my mom allowed me to drive home. Still needs work I think.

I want a car for myself. One dream has been growing inside me for some time. I want to go on road trips with no destination. Hmmm… I want someone with me of course; to escape and go on a picnic when the stars are out. There’s a distant memory, something discouraging to think about. As if nothing can solace the stillness of my heart and even empathy received cannot take away the emotion on how it feels to be alone. In all seriousness, no one has an idea how it is to feel like this and think of someone out there, miles miles away.

Trying to get caught up, not confined aloneness, but more of liberty to decide whatever it takes to get there and unleash the chains. I wish I’ll have complete control over the coming weeks, next week in particular. So many decisions to make. I wish to hear the same wind blowing past my ears, but maybe this time, more powerful and meaningful in that sense. Argh. And yes, sort of excited going to the beach this last week of April. I want to hear a splash in the water. I want to indulge at the beach no matter how scorching the heat of the sun can be. It’s summer. I can’t let myself just dangle somewhere. It’s the break I’ve anticipated.